Monday, August 18, 2008

Something Amiss @ Pop-tates

I have been born and brought up in the city of Mumbai.10 years of my school-life has certainly given me something to cherish- my gang of girls.
We five, come from different backgrounds, culture and value systems. I opine that it is this difference that makes us so special as a gang. Whenever I come back to my hometown, we make sure that we have a revelry at pop-tates .
Now – Pop tates is almost always a certain venue. The reason being its strategic location where all the girls can come after their work-shifts and more importantly – it’s a place where we can ask for our fav. Mojitos and cosmopolitans and be sure that any after-effects there of will not attract negative attention. So this time it was yet again “pop-tates”!
Our conversations are mostly as vibrant as we are…ranging from bitchy gossips to dawn of “new friendships” and extinction of “old friends”(u know what I mean, girls). Tête-à-tête about how we all think of marriage as a social trap with a dash of male bashing off course. However…the mood always has been light and refreshing.
This time however something was amiss. One of our girls arrived late, decked up in a ultra-traditional salwar kameez. This was not unusual. What followed definitely was! The shock::::of late, her parents had started the recruitment process ( pls note there s a difference between recruitment and selection here) for a prospective groom. She just had finished one of the interviews. The worst part: She is not even ready and doesn’t know what she wants in a life partner but has just given in to the entire drama. In her so-called interviews she is acting just as a “good girl” is supposed to act. (I mean the societal definition of good). To me her wickedness is her USP…and something I genuinely love.
Am very sure the poor guy is also equally unaware ! No excitement, no thrill. Its as simple as---A good family wanting a value-ridden girl who can take-care of things (yawn!). It seemed to me as a compromise for life…I could not speak much after that …nor show my happiness (as the suffocation had taken over).
The only thought in mind was….However modern we become, not many of us have the mettle to drive biggest decisions of life…and end up “just giving in”.
I wondered and ordered another mojito …and am still wondering.


suren said...

every coin has two sides and it is very true in case of the various institutions found in the society today :).... sometimes they are powerful enough to overpower individual thoughts

The Solitary Writer. said...

yes rightly said

"The only thought in mind was….However modern we become, not many of us have the mettle to drive biggest decisions of life…and end up “just giving in”."

good post


hey u in ISB,hyderabad naa..

can u tell me the procedure to get admissions in isb...plss...
coz i heard that u r supposed to give gmat for that and 2 yrs of work experience..

is tht so
reply in my blogs shout box

Hashan Hazarika said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pooja said...

hey hi solitary writer ...i am not able to publish comments on any post due to some problem , thanks for ur comment ..and yes regarding isb,,,,well i am in IBS thats icfai hyderabad guess u got confused .

pooja said...

hey suren thanks for ur comment ..dunno why ur blog is inaccessible to me now..will try later

Kishore G said...

Good thought !

Biggest decisions of life end up giving in.But just giving in has both good and bad which we Indians shortly call as fate.

The fact is true as you do not know where your life leads and thats the real thirst in the adventure of life.

tyran said...

The Indian society is changing but slowly. Some of us have reasons to feel frustrated at these lousy age-old practices our elders are such a big fan of. In many cases one can't marry who he/she likes without a big rebellion. Some people are too docile to fight it out or they are just too emotionally attached to their family to go against them if need be. So the only option is to go with the flow.


Tiger said...

good one pooja... yes the recruitment process is tiring.. what is life if you need to comprimise on everything.. cmon we are in the 21t century... but isnt life all about adjusting???

Tiger said...

do post me when you blog next at

Hashan Hazarika said...

yea..u r right..very open post.
short and crisp!! and the kick is as good as mojito!!
cheers !!
keep posting !!

I write here

Anandita SIngh said...

Very well written. Gives me a sneak peek in the minds of the younger crowd. All my sympathies are with your friend.

pooja said...

thank u ...all

Mallika said...

Bravely written!!!!!i guess fr girls Indian society hv librated only till makn thm finacially wat bout our emotional independence????????

pooja said...

i know..we still are the same old lot somewhere.biggest decisions given in smallest thoughts

Nithya said...

Really well articulated. i belong to a metro,and truly understand the dilemma. girls who have been brought up in cities are given so much freedom and wen it comes to marriage- the old customs prevail.
the very thought of it gives me goosebumps.
but this happens to guys too. (ironically atleast something doesn't have gender biasness)
Indian society is both an asset and liability.
Hot topic- so many comments.

Mukul said...

very well articulated pooja... but my views on this issue are slightly different...

in this case, its very easy for someone to feel sympathetic towards your friend... what is not so easy is taking a step back and looking at her parent's situation. In a complex society like ours, there is so much pressure on (most) parents to marry their daughter once she is of marriageable age - you may call it societal / peer pressure. They don't have much of an option either apart from taking the route that they are taking in your friend's case.

Please don't forget how many of us decide what we want to do in our lives (MBA - finance??? i-banking job???) because of peer pressure and not because we want to do it.

Thankfully, slowly but surely, things are changing and parents / society are starting to "give in" to individual's priorities and not vice-versa, which is very encouraging.

On a lighter note, some fault lies with your friend also for not finding a life-partner and leaving it upto her parents :P

pooja said...

i can understand what point u want to make here...thats why i mentioned its "we" who lack the mettle..