Sunday, October 11, 2009

To Nowhere..


A Saturday evening…a bout of self- love. I choose to spend this evening just with myself…
I buy a pirated copy of one my favorite books…I have read, read and re- read this book a couple of times in the past few years. Interestingly… every time I have read this book, I have been in a different city…each time life has been a little different than the last time I read it.

I walk back, not necessarily with an aim to reach anywhere. I let myself walk through the small lanes, not knowing where they will lead me to …
Paths which lead to the unknown, are worthwhile to tread on…

It’s a beautiful night.... The air is crisp and cold… it starts drizzling…the cold rain drops pleasingly pierce my skin. I have reached a divine place overlooking the city which has death- like calm and a life- like vivacity. It is dimly lit..very calm, forlorn….. a place, where I suddenly feel alienated from all the things which I am a part of …It is a feeling of being possessed by everything around and not having any possession of my own..it’s beautiful, almost like a string of magic moments..

I want to scribble a few lines to capture these moments..I do so on the blank pages of the book I just bought. A few lines on the next page attract my attention….it talks of mistakes, of fate…and the mistakes which make our fate...of letting life choose the course by itself ...
I sit here thinking… the last time I read this statement in my dilapidated apartment on a winter night years ago in the city of joy...I had no clue I will read it once again in this city, I never thought I will go to...

My journey from there to here, then to now…it took a lot of strength and a little fragility, a lot of love and a little hatred, a lot of turbulence and a little peace...a lot of "letting- go" and "holding on" ...big errors and little mistakes

I sit here wondering...when we let ourselves on anonymous paths we come accross lots of illusions, apprehensions of what may happen next and a fear of not being able to find the destination again…but I guess that’s the price we all pay for a few magic moments like these..

I bookmark this page…for the next time and the one after that…

10 comments:

mk said...

hmm...this feeling of self introspection...when you are alone, you could have time to self analyse ur life, the emotions you had to be part of..nicely depicted here,
you became a bit poetic at the end of the blog...

nicely written!!

Sumit said...

It's nice to introspect, isn't it? :) I'm curious to know which book it was...

pooja said...

thanks..eleven mins..

√♪נ汉Ψ said...

Introspection is great thing...
By the way wfhich book U have read so many times.........

A.M said...

Reading and re-reading the same book in different situations at different times makes us connect with those writings in a better way....have experienced this myself ;-)

Nice write-up babes!!

T-REX said...

Beautiful writing. I still remember reading you nostalgic post about the ending of your MBA. Seems you have got a job and relocated since then. But havent lost your touch.

PS; I updated myblog after about four months. Do check it out.

pooja said...

thnks ..surely i ll visit ur space :)

Raj said...

I sit here wondering...when we let ourselves on anonymous paths we come accross lots of illusions, apprehensions of what may happen next and a fear of not being able to find the destination again…but I guess that’s the price we all pay for a few magic moments like these..


blink blink. masterpiece.

miracle child!! said...

nice:)

Ankur said...

The beauty of being alone is that your company is as good or bad as you want it to be. :)
Well written! Eleven Minutes is one of the best books I've ever read.